reyonthehill

1. Aides to Attorney General John Ashcroft offered as proof of his sense of humor his propensity to lighten the mood at tense meetings with his imitation of which character from "The Simpsons"?

(a) Homer.

(b) Ned Flanders.

(c) Mr. Burns.

(d) Apu.

2. True or false: White House spokesman Ari Fleischer insisted that his statement that he wasn't aware of "anybody in the White House" discussing Enron's financial situation was technically accurate because, although it turned out that both the Treasury Secretary and the Commerce Secretary had discussed the company's collapse with its chairman, Kenneth Lay, neither of them actually worked in the White House.

3. Which Enron-related whopper did George W. Bush tell?

(a) He claimed that Kenneth Lay "was a supporter of Ann Richards" in the 1994 Texas gubernatorial race, although Lay gave a great deal more money to Bush and even endorsed him.

(b) He implied that Lay was a Richards-administration holdover whom he first "got to know" after being elected governor, although the two had worked together on the 1992 Republican Convention.

(c) He expressed outrage that his own mother-in-law bought eight thousand dollars' worth of Enron stock "last summer," when she actually purchased it in 1999.

(d) All of the above.

Who said what?

4. "In Afghanistan, people who are friendly [to the United States] and unfriendly are constantly meeting together. Indeed, sometimes the same people can be friendly and later unfriendly within a relatively short period of time. There are also people who can pretend they're friendly and who, in fact, are not very friendly."

5. "Make [John Walker Lindh] leave his hair the way it is and his face as dirty as it is and let him go wandering around this country and see what kind of sympathy he would get."

6. "To those who scare peace-loving people with phantoms of lost liberty, my message is this: Your tactics only aid terrorists."

7. "If we find somebody who wants to harm America, who espouses the philosophy that's terrorist and bent, I can assure you we will bring that person to justice."

8. "Given the president's own definition of the monumental goals in September, it is way too soon for Karl Rove to be dancing in the end zone."

(a) John Ashcroft.

(b) Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.

(c) New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd.

(d) George W. Bush.

(e) George H. W. Bush.

9. In reference to the press coverage of the Enron scandal, who said, "They act like there's some billing records or some cattle scam or some fired travel aides or some blue dress"?

(a) White House aide Karen Hughes.

(b) White House aide Mary Matalin.

(c) The White House chief of staff, Andrew Card.

(d) The Republican National Committee chairman, Marc Racicot.

10. True or false: White House spokesman Ari Fleischer defended the Administration's refusal to release records of Vice-President Dick Cheney's energy-task-force meetings by saying, "You know, the very document that protects our liberties more than anything else, the Constitution, was, of course, drafted in total secrecy."

Match the item with the number.

11. Clemencies—out of almost nine hundred requested—granted by George W. Bush in 2001.

12. Dogs that saw George W. Bush faint, tumble off his couch, and bruise his face after eating a pretzel.

13. Dollars that an Enron share was worth when trading in the stock was suspended.

14. Dollars spent by the Justice Department on heavy blue drapes to hide the bare-breasted statue, there since 1936, that John Ashcroft hated to be photographed under.

(a) Zero.

(b) .67.

(c) Two.

(d) 8,650.

15. How did Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill dismiss the Enron collapse?

(a) "You've seen one biggest corporate bankruptcy in history, you've seen them all."

(b) "Companies come and go. It's part of the genius of capitalism."

(c) "In a year or two, we'll be laughing at this."

(d) "Enron, Shmenron."

16. What did George W. Bush say when he was asked by a reporter whether the war had changed him?

(a) "Not over my dead body."

(b) "It pretty much lets me do whatever I want as long as I say it's against terrorism."

(c) "I don't know. I don't spend a lot of time looking in the mirror. Except when I comb my hair."

(d) "It sure probably made me say the word 'evil' a lot more than I would have otherwise."

Answers:

(1) c, (2) True, (3) d, (4)b, (5) e, (6) a, (7) d, (8) c, (9) b, (10) True, (11) a, (12) c, (13) b, (14) d, (15) b, (16) c.

Source: The New Yorker (May 27, 2002)

1. True or false: When George W. Bush was asked what Independence Day meant to him, he replied, "Well, it's an unimaginable honor to be the President during the Fourth of July of this country. It means what these words say, for starters. The great inalienable rights of our country. We're blessed with such values in America. And I—it's—I'm a proud man to be the nation based upon such wonderful values. . . . But the true greatness of America are the people."

2. Who defended the Bush Administration's advocacy of nuclear power by saying, "If you set aside Three Mile Island and Chernobyl, the safety record of nuclear is really very good"?

(a) E.P.A. Administrator Christine Todd Whitman.

(b) Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill.

(c) Chief of Staff Andrew Card.

(d) Interior Secretary Gale Norton.

3. Who is Mia Lawrence?

(a) The Vermont social-studies teacher who was honored as National Teacher of the Year at a White House ceremony, which Senator James Jeffords was pointedly not invited to.

(b) One of the Yale faculty members who protested the university's decision to present George W. Bush with an honorary doctor-of-laws degree.

(c) The Austin bar manager who told the police that Jenna Bush was trying to buy a margarita with a fake I.D.

(d) One of three mooning protesters in Sweden upon whose exposed bottoms was spelled out "We Hate Bush."

4. Which headline did not appear in an American newspaper?

(a) "BUSH IS CHOOSING INDUSTRY INSIDERS TO FILL SEVERAL ENVIRONMENTAL POSTS"

(b) "WHITE HOUSE WANTS TO BURY PACT BANNING TESTS OF NUCLEAR ARMS"

(c) "BUSH TO DELAY PLAN FOR CLEAN WATERWAYS"

(d) "U.S. WARNS IT MAY SKIP CONFERENCE ON RACISM"

(e) "U.S. REJECTS BIOLOGICAL ARMS BAN PROTOCOL"

(f) "TREASURY IS PLANNING TO BORROW TO COVER COST OF TAX REBATES"

(g) "178 NATIONS REACH A CLIMATE ACCORD; U.S. ONLY LOOKS ON"

(h) "PUSHING HIS MISSILE PLAN IN SPAIN, BUSH CALLS ARMS TREATY A 'RELIC' "

(i) "ASHCROFT SET TO LIMIT U.S. HOLDING OF GUN DATA"

(j) "BUSH'S APPROVAL RATING SLIPS TO 50%, a 5-YEAR PRESIDENTIAL LOW"

(k) "BUSH ACKNOWLEDGES HE HAS TO WORK HARDER, KNOW MORE"

5. What nickname did George W. Bush come up with for the Dalai Lama?

(a) Exile Man.

(b) Dolly Parton.

(c) Tony Lama.

(d) No nickname leaked out.

6. What did George W. Bush say when a Philadelphia writer shook his hand at a Fourth of July block party and said, "Mr. President, I hope you only serve four years. I'm very disappointed in your work so far"?

(a) "I sincerely hope to change your mind about that."

(b) "Let me disappoint you a little more. I'm going to steal the next election, too."

(c) "What a set of cojones on you!"

(d) "Who cares what you think?"

Match the observation about George W. Bush with the observer.

7. "He's a terrible ignoramus."

8. "He has selected nominees from the Taliban wing of American politics."

9. "He doesn't know how much he doesn't know and is in no rush to find out."

10. "I have been disappointed in almost everything he has done."

11. "It seemed to me that his mental reasoning is very deep, very profound."

12. "He is determined to squander the unique opportunity the Presidency provides—the opportunity to call us to a cause greater than a three-hundred-dollar rebate."

(a) N.A.A.C.P. chairman Julian Bond.

(b) Times columnist Frank Rich.

(c) Los Angeles Times columnist Arianna Huffington.

(d) Actor Robert Redford.

(e) Former President Jimmy Carter.

(f) Russian President Vladimir Putin.

13. Which of the following observations was not made by George W. Bush?

(a) "It's negative to think about blowing each other up. That's not a positive thought. That's a Cold War thought. That's a thought when people were enemies with each other."

(b) "An equal society begins with an equally excellent schools."

(c) "Fathers have a unique and irreplaceable role in the lives of children."

(d) "Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease."

(e) "The amazing thing about this job, though, is the job seems to follow you around."

(f) "Karl Rove has all the ethical finesse—not to mention the belly and jowls—of Ed Meese."

14. True or false: When a child in London asked him what the White House was like, George W. Bush responded with an impromptu ten-minute description of some of the historical rooms.

Answers:

(1) True, (2) b, (3) c, (4) k, (5) d, (6) d, (7) d, (8) a, (9) b, (10) e, (11) f, (12) c, (13) f, (14) False; he replied, "It is white."

Source: The New Yorker (August 13, 2001)

1. What was George W. Bush’s response when asked what he and British Prime Minister Tony Blair had in common?

(a) “We both had our legitimacy questioned, except for him.”

(b) “We both use Colgate toothpaste.”

(c) “We once did blow together.”

(d) “We both laugh when people are executed.”

2. Who is Paul Offner?

(a) The man who testified that John Ashcroft once started off a job interview with him by asking, “Do you have the same sexual preferences as most men?”

(b) The black Missouri Supreme Court judge whose appointment to the federal bench Ashcroft blocked in the Senate by falsely claiming that he was soft on the death penalty and “pro-criminal.”

(c) The gay man whose appointment as Ambassador to Luxembourg Ashcroft tried to block.

(d) The editor of the virulently racist publication Southern Partisan, which Ashcroft has praised for helping to “set the record straight.”

3. On February 7th, a disgruntled I.R.S. worker fired a handgun outside the White House. Dick Cheney was in his office working at the time. Where was George W. Bush?

(a) In the Oval Office, refining his education program.

(b) In the Cabinet room with Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice, planning the attack on Iraq.

(c) In the study, running some new nicknames by Karen Hughes.

(d) In the residence, working out.

4. True or false: Eight weeks into George W. Bush’s term, a Times/CBS News poll reported that twenty-five per cent of Americans believe that people other than Bush are “really running the government most of the time.”

5. Complete George W. Bush’s statement “You teach a child to read and ___________ will pass a literacy test.”

(a) they

(b) he or her

(c) her and him

(d) it

Match the Observation About George W. Bush with the Observer:

6. “He kisses everybody that gets within reach.”

7. “He has to stop drawing his eyebrows together too closely to convey seriousness; it makes him look like an owl about to pounce.”

8. “His eyes are close together and dark, two little raisins on a beige muffin, and they both sparkle and are unexpressive.”

9. “He’s not the kind of guy I’d like to sit on the bank and fish with. I’d like to throw him in the water.”

10. “George W. Bush is like a bad comic working the room, a moron.”

(a) Wall Street Journal columnist Peggy Noonan.

(b) Former Senator Eugene McCarthy.

(c) USA Today TV critic Robert Bianco.

(d) Actor Martin Sheen.

(e) Retired logging-equipment salesman Walter Taylor.

11. When the White House aide Karl Rove said, “That would be nice. That would be really nice. That would be really, really nice,” what fantasy was he indulging?

(a) China deciding it didn’t really need an apology after all.

(b) Arnold Schwarzenegger being elected governor of California.

(c) George W. Bush getting the Cold War going again.

(d) Democrats ceasing to point out the inequity of the tax cut.

12. Which headlines did not appear in an American newspaper?

(a) “E.P.A. TO KILL NEW ARSENIC LIMITS FOR WATER”

(b) “U.S. PROPOSES END TO TESTING FOR SALMONELLA IN SCHOOL BEEF”

(c) “BUSH REVERSES CLINTON POLICY ON FEDERAL AID FOR ABORTION COUNSELLING OVERSEAS”

(d) “BUSH, IN REVERSAL, WON’T SEEK CUT IN EMISSIONS OF CARBON DIOXIDE”

(e) “BUSH TO CLOSE OFFICES ON AIDS, RACE”

(f) “BUSH HALTS PROTECTION ORDER FOR HABITAT OF ENDANGERED SHEEP”

(g) “WHITE HOUSE ENDS BAR ASSOCIATION’S ROLE IN SCREENING FEDERAL JUDGES”

(h) “BUSH’S BUDGET WOULD CUT THREE PROGRAMS TO AID CHILDREN”

(i) “MORATORIUM ASKED ON SUITS THAT SEEK TO PROTECT SPECIES”

(j) “BUSH BUDGET ON HEALTH CARE WOULD CUT AID TO UNINSURED”

(k) “BUSH TEAM URGES REPEAL OF MINING RULE”

(l) “ADMINISTRATION PROMISES BUSINESS-FRIENDLY WORKPLACE SAFETY REGULATIONS”

(m) “NADER SAYS THERE MAY BE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BUSH AND GORE AFTER ALL”

Answers:

(1) b, (2) a, (3) d, (4) False—fifty per cent believed it, (5) b, (6) b, (7) c, (8) a, (9) e, (10) d, (11) b, (12) m.

Source: The New Yorker (April 30, 2001)

As you may well have noticed, reycorp blog has been on hiatus since the end of February. This certainly was not the intention. In the future, posts will be made more frequently as in the past, as this transition period comes to a close.