Colbert Roasts Bush

I try not to do this often...

...but this one is worth it.

Colbert Lampoons Bush at White House Correspondents Dinner-- President Does Not Seem Amused

WASHINGTON A blistering comedy “tribute” to President Bush by Comedy Central’s faux talk show host Stephen Colbert at the White House Correspondent Dinner Saturday night left George and Laura Bush unsmiling at its close.

Earlier, the president had delivered his talk to the 2700 attendees, including many celebrities and top officials, with the help of a Bush impersonator.

Colbert, who spoke in the guise of his talk show character, who ostensibly supports the president strongly, urged the Bush to ignore his low approval ratings, saying they were based on reality, “and reality has a well-known liberal bias.”

He attacked those in the press who claim that the shake-up at the White House was merely re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. “This administration is soaring, not sinking,” he said. “They are re-arranging the deck chairs--on the Hindenburg.”

Colbert told Bush he could end the problem of protests by retired generals by refusing to let them retire. He compared Bush to Rocky Balboa in the “Rocky” movies, always getting punched in the face—“and Apollo Creed is everything else in the world.”

Turning to the war, he declared, "I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq."

He noted former Ambassador Joseph Wilson in the crowd, as well as " Valerie Plame." Then, pretending to be worried that he had named her, he corrected himself, as Bush aides might do, "Uh, I mean... Joseph Wilson's wife." He asserted that it might be okay, as prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald was probably not there.

Colbert also made biting cracks about missing WMDs, “photo ops” on aircraft carriers and at hurricane disasters, and Vice President Cheney shooting people in the face.
Observing that Bush sticks to his principles, he said, "When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no matter what happened Tuesday."

Also lampooning the press, Colbert complained that he was “surrounded by the liberal media who are destroying this country, except for Fox News. Fox believes in presenting both sides—the president’s side and the vice president’s side." He also reflected on the good old days, when the media was still swallowing the WMD story.

Addressing the reporters, he said, "You should spend more time with your families, write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know-- fiction."

He claimed that the Secret Service name for Bush's new press secretary is "Snow Job." Colbert closed his routine with a video fantasy where he gets to be White House Press Secretary, complete with a special “Gannon” button on his podium. By the end, he had to run from Helen Thomas and her questions about why the U.S. really invaded Iraq and killed all those people.

As Colbert walked from the podium, when it was over, the president and First Lady gave him quick nods, unsmiling, and left immediately.

E&P's Joe Strupp, in the crowd, observed that quite a few sitting near him looked a little uncomfortable at times, perhaps feeling the material was a little too biting--or too much speaking "truthiness" to power.

Asked by E&P after it was over if he thought he'd been too harsh, Colbert said, "Not at all." Was he trying to make a point politically or just get laughs? "Just for laughs," he said. He said he did not pull any material for being too strong, just for time reasons.

Helen Thomas told Strupp her segment with Colbert was "just for fun."

The president had talked to the crowd with a Bush impersonator alongside, with the faux-Bush speaking precisely and the real Bush deliberately mispronouncing words, such as the inevitable "nuclear." At the close, Bush called the imposter "a fine talent. In fact, he did all my debates with Senator Kerry."

Among attendees at the black tie event: Morgan Fairchild, quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, Justice Antonin Scalia, George Clooney, and Jeff "Skunk" Baxter of the Doobie Brothers--in a kilt.

Source: Editor & Publisher

Blogging Live from the Apple Store

Emeryville. A new wardrobe; the fiancee insists. (I agree.)

Good, Better, Best

My third grade teacher, not at all my favorite elementary school professor, had a neat saying nonetheless: Good, better, best; Do not rest; Until good is better, and better is best.

Today's nominees (courtesy of the New York Times)...

Good: Several states plan to sue the Enviromental Protection Agency, part of the do-nothing arm of the Bush administration. "[The Bush EPA has] a disregard for science, statute and wise policy."

Better: "It looks like Microsoft is going to war with Google."

Best: Bush's compassionate conservatism... "I think the national anthem ought to be sung in English, and I think people who want to be a citizen of this country ought to learn English and they ought to learn to sing the national anthem in English."

In the News

- Major League Baseball effectively stabs one of its greatest stars, Barry Bonds, in the back.

- Classic Bush on gas prices... "'The temptation in Washington is to tax everything,' Bush said in an exchange with reporters in the White House Rose Garden. 'The answer is for there to be strong reinvestment to make this country more secure from an energy perspective.' With gasoline at over $3 a gallon in some areas, Bush said there was 'no evidence' of price-gouging of consumers."

- I was too young to remember, but baseball lore protects you... Red Sox v. Mets 1986 video game.

- And Bush on domestic disasters: "We're much more ready this time than we were the last time." That's what he said last time.

Yesterday…

Well, I have started a non-profit. And my fiancee and I started painting our house last night. A lot of work ahead of us...

In the News

- Is Rove going to prison yet?

- Okay, so am I reading/interpreting this correctly? New White House Press Secretary, former Fox News conservative pundit, Tony Snow, wants to get deeply involved in GOP politics? Does this mean a run for Congress or Senate after Bush is impeached? Or just a cushy staff job? (Back to radio...)

- The next Director of the Small Business Administration is a corporate man. Fitting.

- And NASA has finally gone mad, sacrificing hard science for dangerous field trips. Not if it was up to me. (But it isn't. I'm getting over that, slowly.)

Wolf In The White House

I shit you not, "conservative pundit Tony Snow will be named White House press secretary."

On a related point, is there even a conspiracy theory with the relationship between Fox News and the Bush administration?

Bush the televangelist

TayTV at its best...

Another High-End Apple

Wait a minute, Apple has released "a high-end MacBook Pro laptop?" Aren't all Apples high-end? And isn't that the reason I still don't have one? Just wait... (That is what I keep telling myself.)

Nevermind Our Own Civil War (er, the south might be listening, "the war between the states," that is)

The term "bushism" has lost all meaning these days.

Bush (at his best) on foreign policy... "I base a lot of my foreign policy decisions on some things that I think are true. One, I believe there's an Almighty. And, secondly, I believe one of the great gifts of the Almighty is the desire in everybody's soul, regardless of what you look like or where you live, to be free. I believe liberty is universal. I believe people want to be free. And I know that democracies do not war with each other."