Archive for November 2006

The monthlies.

• Confessions of a California Wussyboy

  Last year, my wife and I made a trip to Washington D.C. a few days before Christmas. Not only was our tour of our nation’s capital truncated by the fact we were visiting on the shortest days of the year, but the trip was also accentuated by the fact it was really, really cold. And [...]

• Morning Politoon… Texans

  This comic by Bill Schorr borders on treachery… Image: Yahoo! It’s a good thing freedom of speech is still protected.

• In the News

  - Compassionate conservatism at its best: “I certainly understand your need and desire to create the illusion of Miami as a multiethnic ‘All American’ city.” But..? – Getting a shout-out from Mel Gibson has got to have ‘Kramer’ relieving his stress by golfing with Bob Sacamano. – Bush on Iraq: “I know there’s a lot [...]

• Quote of the Day

  “I would call it a civil war. I have been using it (civil war), because I like to face the reality.” – Colin Powell, former Secretary of State Of course, it would have been nice if Powell would have done his job and not heeded to the demands of the neocons and knowingly presented false [...]

• Afternoon Politoon

  Toles on Lincoln’s redefined “civil war…” Image: Washington Post You know, they did refer to the Civil War as the War Between the States in the South (and many people still do) because Confederate supporters did not consider the war to be a “civil war,” which is defined as a war between two parties within [...]

• Headline of the Day: Sympathy for the Devil.

  Alright, this one was easy… Headline of the day: Al-Qaida denounces pope visit to Turkey. Umh. A) No shit; and B) Why the hell are ‘we’ listening to Al-Qaida and reporting their feelings? They’re a terrorist organization, not your neighborhood Lions Club.

• Walmart Falls (Again)

  Well, it was my town vs. Walmart again last night… The city council voted unanimously to adopt a resolution to purchase the property owned by Walmart on the city’s waterfront by way of eminent domain. Again. (What this all means, of course, is that I will be back at City Hall again in two months [...]

• New Name

  From now on (maybe I could have used the term “henceforth” here, I’ve always wanted to; too late), I will go simply by JayDog. If you would please refer to me as “JayDog” in all of your correspondence, it will be greatly appreciated. I feel this change, albeit sudden, reflects my current mood, which I [...]

• I Hang On Tuesday

  One of my favorite questions to ask unsuspecting friends (and co-workers) is “What is your favorite day of the week?” The typical answer is “Friday,” or “Saturday.” An alcoholic may inadvertently blurt out “Thursday.” My favorite day is Tuesday. It has been so for as long as I remember; I am not exactly sure how [...]

• Kramer

  I’ve finally broken my silence on the “Kramer-racist” issue. (Okay, it wasn’t really a silence; I do believe what Michael Richards said was completely unacceptable and morally abhorrent, and I hope, as a fan of Seinfeld, that the racist episode was a mistake.) A comment I made on Jake Tapper’s blog… Umh, agreed. But it [...]

• Bagombo Snuff Box: The No-Talent Kid

  This is the first of three stories in Bagombo Snuff Box to revolve around George M. Helmholtz, director of the Lincoln High School marching band. The No-Talent Kid is Walter Plummer, who Helmholtz refers to simply as “Plummer,” an earnest clarinetist who really isn’t any good. But because Plummer lacks musical sense and is seemingly [...]

• Bagombo Snuff Box: The Package

  The Package is simply a story that makes you wish to gouge your eyes out as you read of Earl Fenton’s bragging. Earl certainly has bragging rights, however, as he and his wife Maude worked hard from their humble roots to make it rich. And now that they have all this money, they have purchased [...]

• Midday Politoon

  Tom Toles on what the Democrat-led 110th Congress has to look forward to… Image: Washington Post

• Wife Stories: Car Heat

  Woohoo, another series. As we drive to the train station this morning, my wife (from the passenger seat) turns the heat up and rotates the heat-direction nob towards the legs-only selection (where I would prefer usually to leave it on the windshield-only direction), and then proceeds to sit Indian-style, as my feet remain inches from [...]

• Bagombo Snuff Box: Any Reasonable Offer

  Any Reasonable Offer is narrated in first person by a real estate agent. The realtor has had a hard time selling this one house until an out-of-town wealthy couple enters his life. They instantly love the house, and ensure that the high asking price is no problem. They would like, however, to get the “newness” [...]

• Bagombo Snuff Box: Mnemonics

  “Mnemonics is the art of improving the memory.” Alfred Moorhead had a hard time remembering things, and he was secretly in love with his secretary, Ellen. After attending a mnemonics class, Alfred was able to focus his memory by thinking about various Hollywood starlets in random scenes, and this would momentarily make him forget about [...]

• Doing It For The Grandchildren

  While doing some research into federally-funded medical research programs (more to come on this subject later, I hope), I came across this kick-ass quote from one of our nation’s Founding Fathers. Many people consider this guy to be a sons-a-bitch, but he certainly did lead the first great American political dynasty, and is now regarded [...]

• November 22, A Day For The Beatles

  Hey, I just realized it is November 22. You know what that means? Yes, forty-three years ago to the day, the Beatles released their first album Please, Please Me in Britain. And five years later, to the day, the Beatles released their infamous self-titled album, better known as the “White Album.” Oh yea, and John [...]

• Bagombo Snuff Box: Thanasphere

  The first short story of the Bagombo Snuff Box collection is classic Vonnegut. Thanasphere is about a mission by the U.S. government to put a man in orbit two thousand miles above the earth’s surface. (Remember, this was written in the early fifties. This is some scary science fiction.) The man in space was to [...]

• Happiness Is A Warm Lap

  I’ve just received an email from my credit card company. It included the following picture… Image: Chase The two look very happy, don’t they? Well, that’s because they’re paying their credit card bill online. Can you believe it? It is so easy, and so much fun, you’ll actually enjoy paying your bill every month. Go [...]

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