Let Me Tell You About My Sock

Posted at 10:01 am on Tuesday, November 7, 2006, in 2006 Election, and tagged 2006, bill clinton, california, camejo, gore, gray davis, hillary clinton, kerry, new york, schwarzenegger.

Let me tell you about my sock, my right sock, in particular. (I should note that this sock has also been worn by my left foot countless times; this is why I like this sock, he’s a switch-hitter. He’s not a part of those “Oh, I’m a left-only sock” and “I’m a right-only sock” crowds. I despise those crowds. And by the way, how do these crowds survive? We demand more versatility from our garments these days, not less.)

The end is near for my sock, and this is his last election. Yep, after today’s stop at my local polling place, my sock, the one currently on my right foot, will be retired. And what a strange trip it has been.

My sock will be voting in his fourth House election today. And for four consecutive House elections, dating back to 2000, my sock will be voting in a different House district. In 2000, my sock voted in New York’s 25th district. In 2002, my sock voted in California’s 9th. In 2004, California’s 10th, and in 2006, California’s 7th. I don’t know if this amounts to a record of some sort, but when you consider that this will be only the fourth House election that I have ever voted in, the feat seams even more spectacular: a whopping four for four. Incredible. (Note: I was unable to vote the first year I was eligible to, in 1998, due to illness.)

It pains me to say this but it is time to retire the sock. Although we were a part of the Gore debacle and Hillary ascension in 2000, the Davis re-election and Schwarzenegger recall in 2002 and 2003, respectively (Note: I voted for Camejo in 2002, and against the recall and for Camejo in 2003.), the devastating midterm election of 2002, the Kerry flop in 2004, and the Schwarzenegger special election in 2005, the sock’s time has certainly come. He knows this. He has aged and it shows, evidenced by a hole appearing near the heel. It wasn’t there the last time I wore him, I tell myself. Maybe it was the latest battle with the Cottons / Very Dry setting on the dryer that has done this to him. It was just too much; he has no more fight in him.

I will miss you brown, wool sock; retirement is never as good as you’d expect (except for Bill Clinton). In no doubt, however, my sock wants and deserves one last hurrah — a vote in 2006 and a vote in an unprecedented fourth consecutive different House district. So, please, tonight when you’re sitting at home (after you’ve voted), please think of my sock and the historic run he has had. This is my sock, and this is his story.

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