reyonthehill

- Bush once looked into Putin's soul and called the Russian president his friend. Now, the two will meet to mend differences as "many experts say relations between the two nations are at their lowest point since the Soviet era."

- Given fifteen minutes with Bush, a majority "said they would urgently urge him to focus on getting out of Iraq," according to a new Gallup poll. Assuming everyone else brought up Iraq, I would discuss banking reform with the embattled president.

- Will 2008 Republican candidates support Bush's promised veto of stem-cell research funding? It will most surely become an election-year issue, and Bush is in the minority.

- Bush offers a timid, if not pathetic, plan for combating global warming. If you are going to do something that you don't believe in, at least do it half-assed.

- And the thing with cola is that it is done, no more to see or do. (Much like pizza.) So why are Pepsi and Coca-Cola still conducting animal-testing?

Whether or not my wife and I could stand the desert heat wasn't a real concern. Whether or not our six-month-old lab puppy would survive the weekend, was a whole other question.

Haley sure loved to investigate the large boulders...

It turned out that Haley really enjoyed the desert (when it wasn't too hot, that is). She even posed for photos. More than once. I was hoping that Haley would stumble across a rattlesnake. Not be bitten, god no, but I would have liked to see one in person (from a few yards away). Haley is interesting that way. She can chase after a butterfly or a moth, but a cat, she barely notices.

My wife and I decided on shielding ourselves and Haley from the afternoon heat with a drive through the park. We came across a four-wheel drive road, which seemed innocent at first, nothing more than a sandy road.

But we eventually decided on turning around after climbing halfway up a mountain-side...

I will admit I had fun...

Without fail, whenever Haley had an opportunity to sleep in an air-conditioned vehicle, she took it.

The thing with the desert is there is so much of it, it is easy to imagine how one could get lost... (Later on this walk, Haley had her first run-in with cacti. Ouch.)

Haley enjoyed her early evening treat with a view of the desert mountains.

The second evening was the evening of the coyotes. My wife and I are certain, and my puppy being awake for the better part of an hour during the night concludes, that a couple coyotes were circling our campsite. But we survived the desert; well, we at least made it through a full day.

The evenings were very nice in Joshua Tree. The temperatures dipped into the low seventies (measured on the Fahrenheit scale) and a swift breeze kept the tents even cooler throughout the night. The moonlight allowed us to make late-night trips to the restroom without any real trouble at all. But, again, the howl of coyotes kept us on our toes. Not to mention the phenomenon of exiting a well-lit area (in this case, the bathroom) and entering a dark one (the desert in the middle of the night), and not being able to see at all while your eyes adjust. (Um, is that a coyote? Nope, just a bush.)

We all made a conscious effort to get up early in the morning and make the most of our time in the arid west. The funniest thing about this photo is not that my buddy is holding a Rolling Rock, an east coast beer that I would never drink, but that the photo was taken at 6:16am.

Arriving at Joshua Tree a little past six o'clock in the evening on Friday (following a twelve-hour drive from the Bay Area, mostly due to traffic in the hell that is the LA area, but also because of a one-and-a-half-hour delay resulting from running out of gas, which prompted the construction of a make-shift shelter for puppy and wife on the roadside of I-5, south of Bakersfield), my initial thoughts of the desert were that it seemed like a Walmart parking lot. And it did. The campground entrance was big and flat, and there were a lot of campers.

The first evening was uneventful; following the drive, that was greatly appreciated. We made friends with some neighborly campers who traded for wood with weed. I believe the conversation started with the strangers stumbling over to our campfire, "Hey, you guys willing to part with some of your firewood for a Hamilton?" He apparently meant a ten dollar bill. While splitting the wood up in piles to even out the deal, another guy stepped-up (to the plate, it turns out) and offered a bowl for our troubles, so my friend and I helped carry the wood to their site. The ganja actually turned out to be medicinal, which I had never seen before (and how should I?), and made for a great laugh (the labels contained warnings similar to alcohol, but much funnier, you have to trust me).

I wowed the southern California dudes with my authentic stories of Berkeley bums. (Of course the mixture of beer and tea helped.) Also, my Walmart parking lot line, which was falsely attributed to someone else, went over huge. And then the coyotes howled and we all hurried to our tents for the evening.

Note: I had never run out of gas before. I usually get 290 miles to the tank, and I bottomed out on fumes at 280. I did not take into account the added payload from the gear on top or the excessive use of air conditioning. My friends were behind me, albeit 100 miles, so they came and rescued us with gas. The next gas station was 5 miles down the road. (I never had a chance.)

- The conservative district attorney on the Law & Order television show is running for president. (In a few years, I'll read that line and laugh my ass off. Unless he wins, and then I'll cry.)

- Umh, it seems that every candidate I tentatively "support" immediately gets bad press, first Joe Biden and now Bill Richardson. Call it the reyonthehill primary. Who's next?

- And a bill in the California state legislature will require "all semiautomatic pistols sold in California contain a mechanism to stamp the gun's make, model and serial number on the shell casing of the bullet every time the weapon is fired." And the gun nuts go boom.

- A new poll finds that "more than two-thirds of Americans believe there are circumstances in which a patient should be allowed to die, but they are closely divided on whether it should be legal for a doctor to help terminally ill patients end their own lives by prescribing fatal drugs." Details.

- Barack Obama has presented a detailed health care plan. The plan is detailed, and therefore, complicated. What our nation needs is a simplified health care system (similar to calls for a simplified tax code by the anti-tax lobby). On another note, would Obama continue to pursue this policy even if he loses the democratic primary? And why doesn't the Congress -- our representatives -- come up with a better system? Why is it that only people running for president suggest these plans, and then forget about them upon entering office?

- The immigration bill Bush is seeking is, again, not the worst piece of legislation (and may be the best thing Bush will have done since, umh, well, creating a department of homeland security wasn't that bad of an idea, except for marginalizing the effectiveness of FEMA).

- Jon Stewart covered the immigration reform story last week and included a few bits of the complexity of the proposed bill...

- And you can apparently thank my parents that I am a liberal douchebag.

- Cindy Sheehan has resigned as the "so-called 'Face' of the American anti-war movement."

- Gut reaction: I don't really like the new Huffington Post.

- Since announcing "almost three years ago that genocide was taking place [in Darfur]," the Bush administration is announcing plans to levy sanctions against Sudan.

- And the U.S. and Iran held face-to-face talks for the first time since "Washington broke off diplomatic relations with Iran after the 1979 Islamist revolution." The two parties discussed the continued chaos in Iraq, the topic du jour for historic face-to-face meetings.

8:00am
No arrival yet. And your bird can sing.*

8:02am
Birds still singing, no sign of Bush. Oh, there he is. "Please be seated."

8:02am
Bush: "My members of Congress." Huh?

8:03am
Bush quotes the Iraq Study Group. What has happened over this past year? Oh yea, the Democrats regained control of Congress.

8:06am
Bush mentions a catch-and-release immigration policy, similar to the fishing license for the San Francisco Bay.

8:07am
Bush: "[An immigration policy that] let's us know who is in this country and where they are." Where am I?

8:14am
Bush stumbles and bumbles on a long answer about the status of the war in Iraq.

8:15am
Obviously a planted question about China currency. (Obvious, in my opinion.)

8:16am
Bush: "China must convert their economy from savers to consumers." Give those Chinese a credit card, two or three of them.

8:17am
Bush: "China must be eating U.S. beef. They'll like it. It's good for them."

8:21am
A harsh question from NBC's David Gregory, "How do you believe you still have credibility in the war on terror?"

8:22am
Bush: "I'm credible." Uh-huh.

8:24am
Bush: "People think we can leave the terrorists alone and we will be fine." Who? Dennis Kucinich?

8:24am
Bush: "The terrorists are a threat to your children, David [Gregory]." Ouch, a personal touch.

8:26am
Who cares what Osama bin Laden says -- he is a terrorist. Bush is giving bin Laden exactly what he wants -- attention. Bush is spreading fear.

8:30am
Bush: "The Middle East looked nice and cozy for awhile." When?

8:31am
Bush: "Democracy is difficult work." Especially with a democratic Congress.

8:37am
Bush: "[Bin Laden] is a danger to your children, Jim [reporter who asked the question]." Another personal touch.

8:38am
Bush: "[Bin Laden] is not out there feeding the hungry." Good point.

8:41am
Bush: "Our credibility is on the line in the Middle East." Thanks to... whom?

8:52am
Bush: "I want to thank you for your interest." And then Bush storms off.

* Beatles song.

This is why people rely on CNN and the Daily Show (and skippy the bush kangaroo) for their news, because I can't keep my act together.

- A bill passed through the House would for the "first time create a federal law making energy price gouging illegal." The White House suggests that the president would veto the bill. Good move. The record profits at Exxon and Chevron have got to be good for someone, right?

- Bush delivered the worst commencement speech ever: "In the minds of al-Qaida leaders, 9-11 was just a downpayment on violence yet to come." Great, and now I need to find a job. (Graduate school, that's the ticket.)

- And John Edwards is stumbling following publicity of "a $55,000 payday for a speech on poverty." But his words meant a lot to a lot of poor people.

What the fuck was that? I have no idea.

But let's pretend it never happened. Think happy thoughts...

Here is a video of Haley fetching a stick in Lake Tahoe (approximate temperature of dihydro-oxide: 45 degrees, measured on the Fahrenheit scale)...

(It is a good thing I taught her how to swim first.)