LDS Conversation
Posted at 4:25 pm on Monday, June 18, 2007, in Uncategorized, and tagged beer, conversation.
I become uncomfortable when I get involved in conversations like these.
Today at work, while in the field, one of the subcontractors — near the end of the day, the end of a three-day stint of work — said to me, “Hey Alan, are you a religious man?”
I said, “My name is not Alan, my name is Jeff.”
“Oh, I thought you said your name was Alan.”
- “No.”
“So, Jeff… are you a religious man?”
- “Hmm [thinking of what to say], well, I’m into paganism.”
“What’s that?”
- “Paganism?”
“Paganism..?”
- “You’re messing with me, right?”
“No. What’s it called –”
- “Paganism.”
“– paganism? I’ll have to read about it.”
- “Paganism is roughly the belief that earthly activities are divine.”
“Oh, like nature.”
- “Yea. It basically gives me an excuse to drink* a few times a day. [He smiles.] High-tide, drink, low-tide, drink, sun is up, sun is down, moon is up. Paganism allows me to celebrate four or five times a day, so I don’t need to wait for Christmas. … Are you religious?”
“I didn’t used to be. But now, LDS.”
- “Latter-Day Saints.”
“Yes, Mormon. I’ve had some trials. I used to drink a lot of alcohol. I worshiped alcohol. And not beer. Hard liquor. And not mixed drinks, just straight hard liquor, shots. I’ve been through rough times.”
[Silence.]
- “That’s cool. So, Mormonism doesn’t allow you to drink?”
“No alcohol, no tea, no caffeine, no cigarettes, anything that will pollute your body. … Yea, I’ve been through some shit.”
(What am I supposed to do in this situation, rip on Jesus?)
* I’m not an alcoholic. Being pagan for an excuse to drink is one of my favorite things to tell Christians.
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June 19th, 2007 at 7:21 am
Well, Alan, I think that this subcontractor was trying to convert you. The Mormons used to be the fun religion, but that ended when they renounced polygamy.