Tag Archives: 'headlines'

• Headlines You Can Trust

  You’ve got to love this headline: “N.Y. Times defends McCain-lobbyist story.” Alright, well I do. The most reputable newspaper — worldwide — is defending an adequately-sourced report, and that’s news.

• The Ultimate No Shit Headline

  The headline of the day is something most of us have known for quite awhile now… Study: Bush led U.S. to war on ‘false pretenses’ How will Fox News and right-wing radio spin this?

• No Shit Headline

  Every now and then, there is that headline that makes you think, “no shit.” Here is one from today… “Heavy kids face hefty heart risks as they age.” No shit.

• Reason No. 267 To Fear A Huckabee Presidency

  From last night’s debate… “I believe the Bible is exactly what it is. It’s the word of revelation to us from God himself.“ Uhm, it’s a book, science fiction, really. Followed by the MSNBC headline… “A Big Night For Huckabee.“

• Meanwhile, In Berkeley…

  Now that I’ve left the city for the second time in five years (after grad school and after my last job), the City of Berkeley has finally decided to “crack down on yelling, littering, camping, drunkenness, smoking, urinating and sex on sidewalks and in parks.” Trust me, it was uncomfortable.

• Deja Vu Headline

  This has to be the biggest deja vu headline of the new century… “O.J. Simpson Pleads Not Guilty.“

• Reuters Headline Sums Up Article

  The most self-explanatory headline of the week comes courtesy of Reuters… “Undecided voters give Obama hope in 2008 race.” That’s the point of going after undecideds. Up next in the in-depth series, the reason politicians aim to rally the base.

• Police Interview OJ Witness

  Police: And what did the criminal look like? Witness: OJ Simpson. Police: What do you mean? Witness: I mean, he looked just like OJ Simpson. In fact, I’m pretty sure it was him. He was wearing Bruno Maglis and black gloves. Police: Are you sure? Witness: Dude, it was fuckin’ OJ Simpson.

• Another No-News Day

  No news today… just one of those days.

• Jesus Married Mary; Let Priests Marry Too

  Although the settlement between the Archdiocese of Los Angeles and the victims of sexual abuse by priests is a step in the right direction, the only clear answer to the problem that I foresee, aside from castration, is for the Catholic Church to allow ordained priests to marry. And God showed his wrath upon the [...]

• Out Of Dodge

  Are these headlines related? Cheney makes 3-day visit to Japan- AND -Both sides give closing arguments, jury likely to get [Libby CIA leak] case Wednesday Too close to call.

• Bush At All-Time Low: 30%

  The cream always rises to the top… “The president’s approval ratings are at their lowest point in the poll’s history—30 percent—and more than half the country (58 percent) say they wish the Bush presidency were simply over.” Ouch. What could possibly save this presidency? An end to the Iraq war? Unfortunately, it is not going [...]

• End of an Era

  Saddam Hussein, the former dictator of Iraq, is set to be hung by 7pm, reyonthehill time. Will this act bring peace to the region? Would sparing Saddam’s life have the same effect? I remember first learning about Saddam during the Gulf War when I was young (and the Bills were playing in their first Super [...]

• CBS Breaking News With Fluff

  Please no, CBS; this is not “breaking news.” Well, maybe it is; but it isn’t warranted to be a headline on your website. You’re becoming one of them… Image: CBSNews.com

• Come Up With Someone

  In what has to be the weakest attempt ever to garner interest, Time Magazine has selected as Person of the Year, me. And you. And your mother. Pathetic. Instead of choosing a person who has made a difference this past year — Nancy Pelosi, Donald Rumsfeld, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad — the editorial staff at Time selected [...]

• Headline of the Day: Sympathy for the Devil.

  Alright, this one was easy… Headline of the day: Al-Qaida denounces pope visit to Turkey. Umh. A) No shit; and B) Why the hell are ‘we’ listening to Al-Qaida and reporting their feelings? They’re a terrorist organization, not your neighborhood Lions Club.

• Bush Goes Abroad… For Love.

  It seems the MSNBC headline gods have blessed us. Headline: Weakened at home, Bush heads abroad. Yes, because he is loved oh-so-much around the world.

• IAEA, IKEA, What’s The Difference?

  When you see the headline, “IAEA finds plutonium at Iran waste facility,” are you like me, and your initial thought is, “And how do they plan to turn that into stylish, affordable furniture the whole family can enjoy?” (They better include detailed instructions nonetheless; and an Allen wrench, man’s best friend.)

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